


I'll Make It Right For You

by astropocalypse



Series: White Collar/Batman Shenanigans [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Babysitting, Damian is just in the background yelling "I am not a child Drake!", Fluff and Crack, Gen, Misunderstandings, Neal Caffrey is Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Neal Caffrey, Tim Drake is So Done, White Collar/Batman Crossover, no beta we die like jason todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29311932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astropocalypse/pseuds/astropocalypse
Summary: Neal Caffrey (Tim Drake) is babysitting his brother for the day. His brother that Peter doesn't know exists. Shenanigans ensue.(Or: Peter is convinced that Damian is Neal's son and freaks out.)
Relationships: Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Wanting to Die
Series: White Collar/Batman Shenanigans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150793
Comments: 10
Kudos: 222





	I'll Make It Right For You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this is a thing, but it is. Enjoy.  
> In other news, apparently I can write non-angsty stuff! It is an ability that I have!
> 
>   
> (Title is from Dear Theodosia from the musical Hamilton)

Peter like to think that working with Neal had numbed him to the weird surprises waiting for him in June’s penthouse. Mozzie drinking wine while meditating and doing a headstand? Totally normal. El and Neal having a movie night and not one of them bothering to inform him? Old news. Alex showing up out of the blue with yet another harebrained scheme she planned to drag them into? Nothing unusual, though definitely not the most enjoyable. But this one topped the cake.

Peter pinched his nose and sighed, looking done with the world. “Neal, why is there a small child in your apartment?”

Neal was sitting next to a very angry child that looked like a smaller, darker skinned version of him, looking for all intents and purposes as innocent as ever. But it was Neal, so it didn’t calm him in the slightest.

He took a slow sip of his drink and answered. “I’m babysitting.”

“Babysitting?”

“Babysitting.”

Peter growled under his breath. “That doesn’t- you know what, different question. Whose child is this?”

Neal looked quite sheepish, which was an unusual look on him. “Actually, funny story…”

Peter suddenly got an idea. One he very much did not like. But Neal was housing a child that looked eerily similar to him, and the government didn’t have much on him at the time the kid looks like he  
would have been born… Oh no.

He echoed his thoughts out loud. “Oh no. Neal. What were you thinking? I know you miss Kate, but you do not have the capabilities of taking care of a small human being! How could you be so irresponsible?!”

Neal looked… surprised? Then got a look of realization on his face and started laughing quite heartedly. “Peter, I think there’s been a big misunderstanding-“

“No, you listen to me now! I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you’re not able to provide for a child in the slightest! You’re a convict! You live on 700 bucks a month!”

“Peter-“

“And who is his mother anyway? He doesn’t look anything like Kate. Was it a one night stand? I never thought I’d have to give you the safe sex talk, but you force my hand!”

“Peter-“

“Not to mention Adler, and Keller, and all the other dangerous people you’ve managed to piss of! Do you really think it’s ok to put that kind of target on a child’s back?”

“Peter!” Neal finally yelled, tired of being ignored during Peter’s passionate rant. “While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t have a kid!”

“Then who is this?!”

Neal sighed, wearing that particular expression on his face Peter learned meant ‘reluctantly sharing personal information’. “Peter, meet Damian. He’s my little brother. Our dad asked me to look after him today.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please tell me what you thought about it, the comment goblin needs to be sated.
> 
> Also, if you like my sparkling wit (and also want updates on future projects), follow me on twitter!
> 
> -Astro <3


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